Sunday, July 4, 2010

one day ill be older

When I grow up...

I don't want a house
as much as I want a house boat.
I don't want to be married
as much as I want to be in love.
I don't mind wrinkling with time
as long as the smile lines
outnumber the frowns.
I don't want to sleep
as much as I want to dream
I don't want to regret. [period.]
I don't mind making mistakes
because at least then i'll know better.
I don't want to wonder what if
so ill follow this big heart of mine
till the end...

Thursday, July 1, 2010

im awake its morning

It's morning and something about having so much more of a day ahead of me than im used to has inspired me. Sometimes I get overwhelmed at all the beauty and torture in this world. I want to grab it by the fistful and stash it in a locket to wear around my neck for always so that even when I perish I can keep a peice.
I want to paint. I am longing for a room full of canvas and brushes and a small music box where I can run and throw blue and be covered in yellow when I emerge. I want to sink into a victorian tub overflowing with bubbles and drink champagne and read important things. Words that matter. I'm backing away from pop culture and MTV and gossip magazines. I'm falling into Ginsberg, and Rilke, and Kerouac. I want to be a sponge and absorp their ways of critical thinking and beautiful, spontaneous prose. I want to be barefoot more often than not and free of makeup and I want to praise my freckled self and let my hair down even when its dirty. I don't want to eat anything that doesn't expire. I want fruits and vegetables and bread and cheese. And red wine. I would rather do acid in a meadow at dusk than spend an hour getting ready to go to some city bar. I want to travel again! I want to be light and only have a backpack and a camera and a corkscrew. I want to take advantage of my youth. I want to be more self sustainable.
"the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars..."
Kerouac, [the man] On The Road

lets be young and beautiful and free and embrace our minds and our bodies and soak up this world! lets read something important EVERYDAY and never watch tv unless its planet earth! lets go to pubs like they used to; to drink beer and discuss and debate! i want to make the most of this turn in samsara.

so from now on. call me dawn and ill call you tigerlilly.
lets run into the sunset together and see where we end up?

that is all
for now.