Tuesday, January 3, 2012

ive been meaning to mindfully reflect on twenty eleven before getting too deep into twenty twelve

so to start, we must first go back
...the last few days of twenty eleven were spent sitting by our little christmas tree, sipping hot chocolate and baileys, writing, playing with new toys and skyping with loved ones. it was warm and joyous and christmas far away from home.

im so lucky to receive so much love from so far away. and emily and i are lovely bosom friends and treated eachother to such sweet little gifts. i got a big world map, books, a pen, candles, notebooks, a kobo, chocolate, a water bottle, more books, paints, paint brushes, canvas...and so much more.

the afternoon of new years eve was spent with girlfriends at the junk market. i feel SO good whenever im there. its like the outdoor canopied value village of asia. need i say more? while my hunt for a typewriter was fruitless i did come out with the most ugly beautiful purse youve ever seen. it was the finishing touch my nightime outfit needed. kelly and i left with our new old finds and feasted on dumplings and coffee for $2cdn. then i painted my nails, hydrated, and watched girlie shows before getting ready. around ten, i scooped kel in a taxi and we met some friends at a bar called lighthouse. had a quick jager bomb and a vodka infused cocktail and used my blonde hair to hail a cab to this party.

we'd been hearing rumours about this party for a week and it sounded like a myth. penthouse open bar open house party. who would do that? anyway turns out it was real and it was friggin fabulous. it was huge and full of wonderful people, everyone i know in kaohsiung was there, and there was a huuge extensively stocked bar with pretty asian bartenders serving up whatever you wanted. as much of what you wanted. for free. an older hugh hefner looking man in a burgundy blazer walked around shaking hands and thanking people for coming. unreal. it was a great great great night.

on the first day of twenty twelve i slept way in, woke up and made a grilled cheese sandwhich, ran out the door to meet a few of my little bees who invited me to play on their hockey time. they drew me the MOST endearing map of life and gave me their mothers phone number. how could i refuse?

afterwards i wandered around the part of town i found myself in with my new friend justin and we stumbled upon lotus pond by accident. we snacked on boilet peanuts and pumpkin seed bread and mini bananas and wandered through old temples on the water. i climbed up and up and up spiral stair cases and sat in window sills high above the city and took it all in. i welcomed twenty twelve and felt like it was going to be a very good year indeed.

  so very aware in this moment of how i am where i am precisely because of where i have been. with all the love and light that showed itself this past year, there were inevitably pockets of darkness and some of the shadows hovered through many dawns and twilights and dusks thereafter. but, at the end of the day, given the choice, i wouldn't change anything. i love myself and i love my life and this world really is a beautiful place as long as you stay light enough to see it through undimmed eyes. undimmed eyes. undimmed eyes...

 in 2011 i

-graduated teacher's college
-made a lot of big decisions
-threatened to lose my mind a few times

-drove across the country with laura
-moved back out west

-lived happily in the mountains
-came home for grad
-purposefully missed my plane back out west
-stayed home longer than expected. really loved it.mostly.
-ran out of money
-soaked up ottawa
-moved back out west
-loved it.
-went to the most amazing music festival of all, anywhere, ever.
-played with mom and dad in the mountains
-said goodbye to too many good people
-drove to the prairies with a soul sister
-played on flat land and in treehouses, ...that were still on flatland actually..
-said one very hard 'so long'
-moved back home
-played and loved being home and loved loved the people at home.
-said too many goodbyes again...
-flew to taiwan
-worked harder than ever before
-faced more tests of character than maybe ever before
-feeling the progressions and changes in myself as though they are tangible beings. like new freckles
 -fell in love with little kids on two continents
-wrote a lot
-painted a lot
-sent things in the mail to people i adore
-lots of love
-lots of tears
-lots of laughing
-lots of  lessons learned and progressions and beautiful moments

so 2012, i am happy you didn't bring the end of this big, bad beautiful world. and i look forward to all the adventure and growth you will surely bring. welcome welcome.

The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first." — Jim Morrison

 If i had a flower for everytime i thought of you, i could walk through my garden forever. 
Alfred Lord Tennyson

 this looks like home.

on it

 Body cells replace themselves every month. Even at this very moment. Most everything you think you know about me is nothing more than memories. 
Haruki Murakami

 "Time is tricky. You have whole months, even years, when nothing changes a speck, when you don’t go anywhere or do anything or think one new thought. And then you can get hit with a day or an hour, or half a second, when so much happens it’s almost like you are born all over again into some brand-new person you for damn sure never expected to meet." — Life is Funny (via blaqmagic)

 things id like to do this year:
-learn all the countries and their capitals. i already bought the flashcards
-keep learning chinese
-read at least twelve books worth reading
-travel southeast asia
-be the best teacher ever.
-apply to the ashram
-yoga teacher training.
-convince as many loves as possible to come to taiwan and hug and dance with me
now its in print, it all must come true. time to call forth the riches.
happy happy new year all

sources: where is my mind?/the stylish wanderer/before sunrise/unknown/me

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